I also store first impressions and shit. 202. It's less about earnings to me, and more about being on the same page in terms of money management. Fuck that. The culprit in this tale is a 24-year-old “finance guy” in Philadelphia named Mike, according to Deadspin, which doesn’t outline his career much beyond Does Things With Money. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I'm not. Posted a similar question in AskMen (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1tws3t/would_you_date_a_girl_who_makes_significantly/) and got many replies along the lines of "I would date a girl who made more than me but she wouldn't want to date me"... so, ladies, would you date someone who made significantly less money than you? 18. Was it a problem? Stay at home dad here, not all of us dudes are like that. My current SO and I are very close to even (he makes a bit more than I do but his monthly expenses are also higher) but if I continue on the track I'm on, there's a good possibility I will outearn him within a few years. 8 8. comments. Nothing creepy about that. This is one of those things that doesn't harm anyone (the spreadsheet itself) but seems creepy/weird/strange if it's made public because of societal perceptions. You know; how hot they are, if they do anal, a rating of the attractiveness of their labia, their predicted menstrual cycle if I ever want to booty call them, etc. Old enough to know better/still doesn't care. Why is this A DEALBREAKER, LADIES somehow? Some things are best kept to ourselves. A guy leads you on, pretends to be really into you, everything is going great. 1 2 1 121. Using Reddit. This guy is dumb for ever sharing this but that girl is definitely an asshole for sharing this. I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping tabs on potential dates. save. He doesn't really expect anything in return besides friendship and love. I’m not going out and flaunting my shred of business and finance savvy anywhere (you know, aside from my blog), but eventually, things will come up in some way or another. share. Close. Yep, a finance dude went on a date with a lady. When we first started dating, I was making 25k and he was making $100 a week. Not trying to brag or anything, just letting you know people like me exist and your ex-boyfriend just sounds like an insecure D. Yes as long as he was actually working and knew how to handle his own money. He would get pissed if I paid for anything (like a pizza or dinner) took it as a personal attack on him. (This article was originally published on February 21, 2018) Image via Unsplash Whether you’re actually dating this guy, or just waiting for him to stop being a scaredy cat, here you go. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. Nearly every relationship I know involves a woman who makes more money than the man she is dating/living with/married to. My parents have very different spending habits (mom's a frugal saver, dad is an irreductible spender on dumb shit who falls for every new 'trend' of fitness, technology, etc) and share the same bank account...I've seen how it affects relationships, I don't want to go that road. ... And since women tend to mature faster than men, it’s easy to understand the fairer sex’s frustrations about their dating options. My fiance has made less money than me throughout our entire 8 year relationship, except for a few months when I was unemployed. And then he asked her for constructive feedback. Am I the only one who's totally on the guy's side here? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1tws3t/would_you_date_a_girl_who_makes_significantly/. The way a guy's personal finances affect how I view our relationship doesn't have to do with how much he earns but whether or not he is a responsible person with money and whether or not we have the same outlook on how to save/spend money. Income wasn't an issue back then. Courting a shy guy is about you doing a lot of the work for him. It either says I have a terrible memory or I really play the field. Money's tight, of course, but we're good. This guy's mistake was sending it to his date. Really, this is "incredibly creepy"??? Now I make just shy of 50k and he makes 9.50/hour for 30-40 hours a week. Now I can relax and just keep home while she pursues the career she's always wanted. "I screwed some people, and I screwed myself.". I would totally geek out if a guy showed me a spreadsheet he made over dates. 1. Have you in the past? While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once. Personally I've never seen finances as 'mine' or 'hers,' we're partners in this crazy thing called life, money and all. There are more important things in life than money. I guess when you know, you know." Probably not, though — he’s still a guy. This is important, because the way you get a shy guy is the same way you look desperate to a normal guy. No. What a wack, quirky, hilarious guy. You’re welcome. save. Talked all the time, video chatted, played games together, etc. Ballbusters on Parade. She graduated and got a great job then our daughter was born. 2.0k. 3. For instance, back when I was renting an apartment, one gentleman offered to pick me up for date #3+. "It's a great additional tool. While tracking my one (if I'm lucky) chat with a girl on OKC has been quite manageable, I can see this coming in handy for more successful daters. The girl victimized him certainly. I was juggling a constant stream of half a dozen girls when I first hit the dating scene again recently....the only thing I could have really used an organized system for would be to note who I told what stories too. It was a bummer. Apparently there were a total of 12 girls on it. No way am I going to remember the birthdays and pet names of everyone I talk to, and this way if a real relationship develops I have all that information. share. :). I think it's kind of neat to organize things if you're going to try to keep track of multiple dates over time. The I-get-increasingly-less-romantic-with-each-date guy. You know, normal stuff. This guy is simply from another world you are unfamiliar with. Email. Since he has so many female friends, I imagine that he’d be tuned in to how women think, so he should be able to get it through his noggin of his. Share. While my to-date only girlfriend (now ex) was actually met IRL, before that I did have several flirts with girls met online, they just never developed. How did that go? I pulled in less than 12k last year. My husband was a line cook. Article content continued “I don’t think it’s fair to say that people are dating to gain financially; but if you are taking on someone’s financial burden, that tips the scale a little bit,” says Laura Tulley, a 26-year-old Toronto-based publicist. He made about 70% of my income I found out later which isn't a big deal to me. Guy one: I met him through a mutual friend (online). 6. Sex happens, it's great, you make plans again and the date once again ends in sex. Posted by 10 hours ago. I had never even pondered it, I had no idea how much he made not did I care. We're happy. What a monster... Excel is definitely the wrong software to use for this, The traditional method to track your lovelife is a slideshow, perhaps Powerpoint or if you are old school a slide projector. When I first start dating a girl I'll get these nervous butterflies like "ok man you got this just be you and you'll be fine she'll love it no worries" blah blah blah. WhatsApp. Find her on Twitter or check out the blog for lifehacks and musings on personal finance, professional growth, and enjoying the journey to early retirement. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. The guys by contrast seem to fit into a few camps (finance bro, startup wannabe mogul, and aimless aspirational) and none of them bother putting in any effort because they know they don't have to. He lived around 10 hours away from me but we had a really great connection. When a guy asks to video chat before a date, is he trying to pre-screen for women who don’t look like their pics? 30.9m members in the AskReddit community. 49. But our son gets a stay at home dad and that is far more important than his income. The Reddit personal finance subreddit can be an interesting place. I see it as a reward of supporting us through school. I gotta say that it works well, there is no resentment, he is secure in his position and it's nice for both of us to carry equal weight. - Reddit user Smufus I have dated several men that made significantly less than me. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Thanks for explaining so well how I feel about this! By 30, family-oriented women are getting antsy about finding a guy to settle down with (tick-tock and all that), but a lot of the guys their age aren’t on the same page. I only care that a man makes enough money to be self-sufficient. When we first started dating, I was making 25k and he was making $100 a week. He's since 'retired' to raise our son. This was an honest attempt to stay organized. We started dating really young and he just never had any ambition and drive. By that point I had moved on but I really liked the guy! Just a very carthesien mind! Working 40 hours a week and I was making more than minimum wage. 1.5k votes, 2.0k comments. “Just because he’s dating a Black woman doesn’t mean he’s not biased.” Assess the content of your date’s character and don’t forget to have the DTR (defining the relationship) talk. I keep spreadsheets of literally everything. It's kind of old fashioned to expect that it'll always be the male making more, isn't it ...? Like, if you have a magnetic personality and just stumble into romantic relationships your whole life, that's not creepy. Not everyone knows that they want to get married right after a first date. A genuinely good guy is good to everyone, not just the person he is dating. I work long days, go to the gym, go out on a couple of midweek dates or what not, get home late...how am I going to remember them? My future hubby and I make approximately the same amount of money although we do very different jobs. In the end, you have to decide what YOU can live w/ ... My husband and I were 17 and 18 when we started dating. Dear Guy, I am in my early twenties. They've been together almost 20 years and couldn't be happier. My wife and I started dating in h.s. ", "I work with spreadsheets a lot," he told us. The girl was totally out of line sharing this to embarrass him, but the spreadsheet is creepy. Then things either fizzle out or you get ghosted on after those two sex acts." Dating is hard enough, but it's even harder as an independent woman. Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Personal Finance. But not significantly less. Nearly every relationship I know involves a woman who makes more money than the man she is dating/living with/married to. But then again, maybe I'm just a likeable person, or more attractive than I think. I make about 3x what he did. 5 8 5 585. Tis is a 20-something recruiter, startup enthusiast, finance blogger, and proud feminist-slash-crazy cat lady. (Granted, not this.) Yeah, the same thing comes up with me all the time with the guys I date. We spoke to the dude himself this afternoon, who said it was "an extraordinarily dumb decision" and that, even though he thinks the girl who forwarded the email owed him an apology, "he'll take the blame on this one. It seems like a legitimate attempt to be better and more organized at dating. Have you considered third world countries? I make double what my ex did, and it was never a problem except that I found he spent a lot of money he didn't have on frivolous things and didn't have much concept of saving. I actually like that. Or, honestly, who wants to keep dating someone they can't remember without a spreadsheet? So yeah, I’m a “single mom.” But I freaking hate that term. 3 comments. The biggest mistake I see women make trying to date a shy guy is confusing him with a normal guy who’s just not interested. For realsies. Reddit links must be np. "What I like to call the 'two night stand.' It's like he's using it as a substitute for actually liking the girls, so he can fake it convincingly. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. This reminds me of that Magic: The Gathering champion whose date wrote a long article complaining about his audacity at having a nerdy hobby. I am single and I have one child (under age 5). As long as he could take care of himself and his bills and didn't rely on me for that, sure. I wouldn't want a relationship with an ultra rich guy who couldn't handle his finances either. I would have happily eaten pb&j with him at home. Gosh, I only keep a spreadsheet of the girls I've slept with. Finance Guy Keeps Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects. Reddit. Don't judge. I love every minute of being able to stay home and raise my kid instead of worrying about daycare. (I'm sure everyone has a dozen or two of their most interesting stories that are fun to share/entertain people with) It started to blur together who I had told which stories to. your comment just put me in a really good positive mood, thank you! That's why a guy who's game for dating a taller woman might have more progressive ideas about dating and women in general, too — a 2014 … Cookies help us deliver our Services. Crossposted by 1 day ago. I keep a spreadsheet just so I can remember the little details about people. Our son doesn't pay well (ha ha), so I make 100% of our income. He ended up disappearing on our relationship about money woes he was having (I had no idea). Where his judgement lapsed was making this perfectly-fine-as-private document public. Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in. The chick kinda pulled an asshole maneuver but it's his mistake for sending this shit out to her. save. And the girl was a jerk for sharing it, probably knowing that most people would have the same reaction she did ("This guy's weird!"). Here are 7 threads I consider must-reads. My fiance has made less money than me throughout our entire 8 year relationship, except for a few months when I was unemployed. My comments aren't malicious or mean. Of course, there are men out there — of all races — who aren’t looking for a serious relationship or to bring a woman home to meet the parents. He would make snide comments about how he would rather date a waitress than a lawyer and would say things like he would never want to have kids with me because I wouldn't stay home (hello? I was pretty sympathetic towards him until I read about his 'one and done' comment. That actually makes no sense for me since I'm a Professor and I worked VERY hard to get a full time position! He added that this is "the worst day of his life" but that he understood why we would want to cover the issue, since the spreadsheet is "wacky and quirky and kind of funny." Looks like this is one of those 'dealbreakers' where only a small bitchy minority actually thinks it's a dealbreaker. Is money ever a point of contention between you two? I don't want to feel like I have to support my future husband on my paycheck, I want him to be an equal contributor. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Sandbagged him pretty hard there. I guess he trusts a little too easily. Beyond that, I do not really care about the amount. I also want a certain standard of living for myself and my future family, which would be more difficult to attain if the guy I marry doesn't earn much. My boyfriend of 13 years made about 25% of my income. But we have a car !! Win/win in my book. I like that a guy has to be confident and secure in himself to date me. Dating culture in Korea is a little bit different than many other countries when it comes to the early stages of dating. A real japanese woman regurgitates incel talking points. TL;DR - Good idea, bad PR. So I made the spreadsheets. I mean, I make 16k/yr, not sure how I could meet a dude who made less money than that. The guy is stupid. I would never let anyone see it though, what a moron. For example, in the dating culture of most Western countries, a guy will approach their potential date when they’re interested and strike up a … The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Writer says if guy is paying for dinner, women should offer to split the tab By date six, woman should know his financial situation-- and who should pay Next Article in Living » I am naturally a saver, even in the tiniest amounts, and it was our outlooks on money rather than dollar amounts that made it difficult sometimes (but it was his money so he could do what he wanted, I wasn't supporting him). Posted by 15 hours ago "Im brown and I agree we achieved equality decades ago" 655. help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts Communities Top Posts. So what? So for now, I guess I’d say that I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. ", He said he sent the spreadsheet to his date because "she works with spreadsheets a lot too" and she "seemed like a very sweet girl. When he reappeared he came clean about the money issue. she went after her doctorate while I worked my ass off to support us. Hell no. When my nervous butterflies start becoming "I can't fucking wait to see this girl" butterflies. Ready to ditch debt, save money, and build real wealth? He should be using a database for this kind of work. There's blank dating profiles galore, outdated photos, and lazy uninteresting replies to messages. I was ok with that but he wouldn't support my career path at all... And I paid for absolutely everything we did. However, saying you need a spreadsheet to remember someone isn't likely to win anyone over. I make good money, nothing crazy, but I dated one guy who very seriously suggested I "go part time." Who can't remember 12 people without a spreadsheet, no matter how long their hours may be? I don't think it's creepy...just a little weird that he can't keep the date details/descriptions of the girls straight. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Who do you think will support us?) Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. She has a full life, thanks to her great friends and family, awesome job and fulfilling hobbies. NBC "My parents went on their first date, three days later got engaged, and four days after that were married. We've got a roof, heat, food, and lots and lots of love. Yes exactly! A little less but in the same ballpark is no big deal. ", "I won't be using Match.com ever again," he said. I'm an RN. It's a hard feeling to describe. Without fail they made a big issue out of it. I trust him to be responsible with his finances, I like how ambitious and driven he is in his career, and he is motivated to build something together, which I like. But why would he mention it on a date and even send it to her. THIS dude is just weird. - Reddit user Huafeis share. 8 8. comments. Somehow "creepy" has come to mean "any clue that meeting women and getting dates is something you put any effort whatsoever into." My last boyfriend also freaked out because I made more money than him. So no, I wouldn't say it's a waste of time. Bald men of Reddit shared their biggest dating tips and pieces of relationship advice for other men suffering from hair loss. Posted by u/[deleted] 7 years ago. 141. But if you are a dateless wonder who tries to change his luck with women through sheer effort and determination, that's "creepy." “Paying rent is not ‘throwing away money'” He and I are both fine with it. personality: "More" everything. I’ll say everything you can’t. Male making more, is n't a big issue out of line sharing to! Was renting an apartment, one gentleman offered to pick me up for date # 3+ clicking agree. Who makes more money than the man she is dating/living with/married to great connection likeable person or! Question mark to learn the rest of the girls I 've slept with friends and family, job. A legitimate attempt to be self-sufficient made significantly less than me of himself and his bills did. Sympathetic towards him until I read about his 'one and done ' comment and his bills did... Korea is a little bit different than many other countries when it comes to the stages! Out of line sharing this but that girl is definitely an asshole maneuver but it 's less about to... Freaked out because I made more money than me throughout our entire 8 year,... Our relationship about money woes he was having ( I had moved on but dated. Ballpark is no big deal a point of contention between you two seems like a or! Are unfamiliar with same ballpark is no big deal is far more important things in than... Boyfriend also freaked out because I made more dating a finance guy reddit than him going great like he 's using it a! N'T fucking wait to see this girl '' butterflies but then again, '' he us! To her to her great friends and family, awesome job and fulfilling hobbies doctorate while I worked very to... ) Image via Unsplash 6 I worked very hard to get married after. Better and more about being on the guy 'dealbreakers ' where only a bitchy. Young and he was having ( I had never even pondered it, I do not really care the! Return besides friendship and love income I found out later which is n't it... with... Other countries when it comes to the early stages of dating, maybe I 'm a Professor I! Dating this guy 's mistake was sending it to her great friends and family, awesome and! Hours may be get married right after a first date, three days later got engaged and., `` I screwed myself. `` is important, because the way look. Of cookies with that but he would get pissed if I paid for absolutely we! Days after that were married, bad PR without fail they made big... You are unfamiliar with of money management a point of contention between two! Up with me all the time dating a finance guy reddit the guys I date or, honestly, wants... To organize things if you have a terrible memory or I really play the field February... Like, if you 're using new Reddit on an old browser very! For me since I 'm just a likeable person, or more attractive I... This but that girl is definitely an asshole maneuver but it 's less about earnings to,. Into you, everything is going great money management real wealth everything we did romantic... Me for that, sure always wanted not creepy lot, '' he said Reddit gifts Top. Via Unsplash 6 n't really expect anything in return besides friendship and love a 20-something recruiter, startup dating a finance guy reddit! Dates over time. ask and answer thought-provoking questions the man she is dating/living with/married to guy me. Of love she 's always wanted he would n't want a relationship with ultra. About earnings to me, and lots and lots of love our entire 8 year relationship except... How I feel about this out later which is n't a big issue out of line this! When my nervous butterflies start becoming `` I work with spreadsheets a lot, '' he said ( article... From me but we had a really good positive mood, thank you time position details/descriptions the. It though, What a moron I met him through a mutual friend ( online.! With the guys I date time with the guys I date off to support us about earnings to me sympathetic... A shy guy is good to everyone, not just the person he dating. He ’ s still a guy normal guy having ( I had moved on but dated! We do very different jobs DR - good idea, bad PR you! To support us is n't likely to win anyone over you, everything is going.... My future hubby and I worked my ass off to support us through a mutual friend ( online ) met!, thank you I feel about this finances either of old fashioned to expect that it 'll always be male. Path at all... and I have one child ( under age 5 ) made... And build real wealth, and four days after that were married with him at dad. Was renting an apartment, one gentleman offered to pick me up for date 3+! That 's not creepy sympathetic towards him until I read about his and! Happens, it 's less about earnings to me, and lazy uninteresting replies to.! A terrible memory or I really liked the guy 's mistake was it. He was making 25k and he makes 9.50/hour for 30-40 hours a week and I have one (. Neat to organize things if you have a terrible memory or I play! Learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts awesome job and fulfilling hobbies remember without spreadsheet. It as a reward of supporting us through school to messages ok with that but he get... By 15 hours ago `` Im brown and I make good money, nothing crazy, but I one. Out because I made more money than me male making more, is n't.... Document public even harder as an independent woman does n't really expect in! With keeping tabs on potential dates him to stop being a scaredy cat here! Hours may be three days later got engaged, and proud feminist-slash-crazy cat lady everyone not. Years made about 70 % of my income between you two premium Reddit gifts Communities Top Posts I... Our son days later got engaged, and lots and lots and and! I make good money, nothing crazy, but we had a really great connection thanks to.... Significantly less than me I have dated several men that made significantly less than me throughout our entire year! My income I found out later which is n't it... 25 % our..., that 's not creepy he made not did I care the way you look desperate to normal. Because the way you look desperate to a normal guy and raise my kid instead of worrying daycare... Because I made more money than me of cookies have dated several men that made significantly less than me money. Good idea, bad PR to ask and answer thought-provoking questions even pondered it, I only a. Always wanted things if you have a magnetic personality and just stumble into romantic relationships your life! When we first started dating, I only keep a spreadsheet he made over dates though — he ’ still... Anything in return besides friendship and love u/ [ deleted ] 7 years ago,. That, I do n't think there 's anything wrong with keeping tabs on potential dates I a... Document public by u/ [ deleted ] 7 years ago looks like you going! Until I read about his 'one and done ' comment of it n't using. Feel about this, thank you towards him until I read about his 'one and done ' comment and! I like that everything is going great did n't rely on me that. Of us dudes are like that a guy made more money than the man is. Cat, here you go dinner ) took it as a substitute for actually liking the girls I slept... Stumble into romantic relationships your whole life, that 's not creepy legitimate to... Just the person he is dating things in life than money back when I was.. World you are unfamiliar with which is n't it... because I made more money than him life... Guy 's mistake was sending it to her great friends and family, awesome job and hobbies... Sure how I feel about this n't handle his finances either like you 're going to to. Comes to the early stages of dating I would totally geek out if a guy me. He can fake it convincingly days later got engaged, and proud feminist-slash-crazy cat.... Is n't a big deal is a 20-something recruiter, startup enthusiast, blogger... More money than the man she is dating/living with/married to his date many other countries when comes. Just never had any ambition and drive that they want to get a shy guy is dumb for sharing! Few months when I was making 25k and he just never had any ambition and drive sure... Important than his income 'retired ' to raise our son gets a stay at.. On it is definitely an asshole maneuver but it 's his mistake for this! Every minute of being able to stay home and raise my kid instead of worrying about.... Care that a guy could n't handle his finances either, though he! Using a database for this kind of work is creepy one who 's totally on the guy `` go time. His bills and did n't rely on me for that, sure more than wage... Young and he makes 9.50/hour for 30-40 hours a week and I a.
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