Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. If sin were to gain entrance into heaven, the curse which the earth lies under would follow, and God will not allow this to happen. !” To answer, I simply pointed to the bottomless gorge I saved her from. Collaborating with the efforts of her husband Eric, the two of them share a ministry dedicated to bringing God’s Word into the everyday lives of married couples, men and women. I need the help of the Holy Spirit. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily. Check the robot box and select the captcha images. God is never going to tell a lie and hurt you. (Thanks!) I wasn’t in a covenant relationship with this person (marriage), yet I was absolutely bound to them despite the clear direction of Scripture not to align my heart with them. When offenses in relationships come your way, ask the Lord how He wants you to respond. Even within the blur of seeming betrayal, David clung to God’s good character. As the bike launched into the abyss, my rescued daughter hopped up hotter than a hornet! And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin. It's common to wonder if our suffering is God's Will. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.” (Titus 3:9-11 NIV), “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.” (2 John 1:10-11 NAS). As God’s children, we often lack this same insight. After that, have nothing to do with them. It’s always meant to turn us away from evil and back toward Him. Please try again. In each circumstance where I had to limit the influence that person had in my heart, the individual was a professing believer. Of course, God will not send you someone who’s unkind, immoral and does evil acts. Learn more >>>. Consider how your relationships center around God. If we truly believe that we are not our own, then regardless of how much we might love a person caught in such activities, we must realign our interaction with them because our Lord tells us to. God won’t lie; it’s impossible. I will never forget the day when one of my daughters learned to ride her bike without training wheels. “Why did you do that, Daddy? When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions. God’s powerful love should protect us from having awful families, from miserable marriages, from losing our jobs, from losing a child, or from having accidents only “other people” have. He sometimes will allow more and more and more. God may decide to unite both of you in the future or he may not. Write your comment, and include your name and email. God is always saving you from things you don’t know could harm you. People I dearly loved but had violent tempers did indeed create sticky snares in my life that God wasn’t calling me to be part of. Will You forget me forever? They feel confrontational and uncomfortable. As I started rewatching the series as an adult, I realized how much watching these TV shows seep into our worldview as kids. As she raced by me, I reached out and lifted her off the bike—saving her from the ravine but causing her to fall. God does say He won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear and that He always provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). When God does allow Satan or his demons to attack a person, there are reasons for it. When dealing with someone who has hurt you repeatedly it may feel better to just give up and move on. I did a quick word search through Scripture to find a number of red flags God gives His children to follow in the relationship department. Done! 6. Don’t suppress them, but at the same time, there’s no need to react to or express your emotions. Unless you have hurt the person in some way, know that they are acting from a place of pain and a yearning desire for love. I’m not great with boundaries. Recognize that if you feel lonely in the friendship department, it might be because God wants you to lean into Him more right now instead of being distracted with people. Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. We may believe God is all-powerful and He can’t get hurt by anything we do. Talk to God about every relationship you invest time in. It’s easier to think about obeying God by forgiving or exercising patience. He allows us to choose whether we will cling to grudges or grace. That’s right! Here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally. I reread that list of red-flag Scriptures and prayed about how to follow through with love and grace. Where was God when I needed Him? God’s correction sure does hurt, but it will never harm us. 1. (Psalm 13:1). Yet, by limiting the influence damaging people have in our lives, we will end up protecting the energy, purity of heart, and focus God wants to use in our lives to reach people for Him. From my own personal experience, after my suffering and talking to GOD, did he respond. But sometimes it’s just not that simple. 4) Know your life will never been the same after being hurt by someone you … In other words, he is considerate with your feelings and he understands your thoughts to make sure he will not hurt you physically, emotionally and mentally. Well, there was an error submitting your subscription. Sometimes, it even seems like those plans are succeeding. Grab our 30-day devotional, Finding Peace in the Mess – A 30-day journey to unshakeable hope in the valleys of life. are the ones that are most precious. 2. I grew up on old movies and classic sitcoms. 15. We miss the wonderful growth we can experience from praising a good God who uses even our pain for our advantage. A god who is shaped by you will die with you. As I struggled with this relationship and how to walk in God’s truth and grace in the midst of it, I confided to one of my Christian friends how discouraged I was over my inability to follow what I thought Scripture was instructing me; that I should be content with insults (2 Corinthians 12:10), and that suffering well finds favor with God (1 Peter 2:20), so I felt I should be able to just live in this pain and do it well. It is a tricky tightrope walk that applies with balance verses like: “But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man for He Himself knew what was in man.” (John 2:24-25 NAS), “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10 NAS), “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8-9 NIV), “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). Leaving a comment is easy! Pray! Someone Else. 4. Sometimes God removes someone from your life = Fool me Once Shame On you, Fool me again Shame on me. Recognize that all your friends and family members are indeed human and will let you down – you will do the same to them too. 16. Now check your email to download your e-book and confirm your subscription. Because we don’t own the rights to our hearts anymore, our Father instructs us to forgive. Remember that hurt people hurt people and it is not about you. The 2 John passage refers to people who distort Christ and the Gospel. I love that idea. Our loving and merciful God has a perfect plan to use that suffering to accomplish His threefold purpose. As I have been growing in the realization that my heart isn’t cheap (regardless of how I treat it) and growing in my attempts to honor God with my relationships through obedience, I have acquired a few practical tools: 1. 9 Reasons Why God Might Not Rescue You, Lori Hatcher - Read more Christian women spiritual life, faith, and growth. So let’s get honest. 3. And I have wished, prayed, worked, sweated, cried, prayed more, and tried for relationships in my life to work that way too. Click: "I'd rather post as a guest." Sometimes you can’t explain why you are attracted to a certain person – you just are. All she could see was that I caused her to fall. April Motl is a pastor’s wife who loves to laugh, loves her man, loves to talk on the phone entirely too long and most of all, loves her Lord. Finding balance in relationships isn’t easy! Take it to the bank: “ God is not a man, that He should lie” (Nu 23:19). While there are a plethora of verses that instruct us to take up our cross and follow Christ (Mark 8:34), there’s much needed discernment in applying godly wisdom to our relationships as well. How does this attraction occur? Well, sorry. It doesn’t matter who hurt you. Our culture points to our pain as proof that God doesn’t exist; but the devil uses our pain to convince us that God doesn’t care. God may remove someone from your life in order to bring someone else in. They may have insight that you can’t see. The Christian life should bring the good things in life, right? In the book of Genesis, in the times of Noah, God spoke about how much … Why didn’t He give me a better family? 4. Jesus didn’t casually give Himself to people because He knew they weren’t trustworthy, and at the same time Paul knew he was called to give himself freely to the insults and persecutions of the people he was trying to reach. Job did not see why God allowed Satan to attack him (Job 1:12), yet God used the situation to thwart Satan's boasts and to bring glory to the Lord. That’s wrong. Does God Want You to Spend Time with People Who Always Hurt You? When I was a kid I would talk to my grandma about my friends. God has a great future planned for you and He can’t give it to you with dysfunctional people around you messing it up. But at the end of the day, our heart belongs to our Lord! Don’t rush or force it. 6. But I’ve concluded that all that teaching was a crock! Everyone makes mistakes. You are choosing not to obey by being in this relationship. The truth is, there will always be people who will hurt your feelings. It seemed we had each other’s backs, but in hindsight I think he was using me. All rights reserved. Then you don’t see sin for how evil it really is. I knew this. So don’t make perfection the price tag for intimacy. When God truly wants you with someone, eventually the timing will align and that game of constantly missing each other will just stop and you two will be in a relationship. Sometimes God removes someone from your life because he/she isn’t right for you or the timing isn’t right. we talk about Scripture, pray for each other, etc.) And sometimes that is the best solution. By saying what you have said, tells me you haven’t suffered profound pain. Some people in this world are selfish, lovers of money, or simply greedy. 15. Those are hard to live out with balance! Forgiveness is a given, but perhaps He isn’t requiring you to remain so close or maybe He wants you to lovingly confront the other person. Just as a god who is shaped by me will die with me. (Take a moment and read that again.) They were not open to any correction and did not change that facet of life (or got worse) over the course of years. WAYNE STILES Please try again. I want every relationship in my life to brim over with warm fuzzies. It is of great worth to Him, and no longer belongs to us. I’ve been where you are. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key. My goal is to deliver practical content to encourage you in your relationship with God. Some days (weeks, months, seasons, years) I feel hard-pressed. So I felt guilty for hurting and ashamed that I couldn’t figure out how to be healthy in this relationship. Spiritual Growth and Christian Living Resources, 20 Prayers to Keep God First in the New Year, 5 Ways You May Be Ruining Your Child's Life, A Prayer for Holding on to God in Hard Times - Your Daily Prayer - January 4, 10 Marriage Goals Every Couple Should Have for 2021, A Prayer for Our Children - Your Daily Prayer - January 3, Amazing Children's Choir Sings 'I Can Only Imagine', 10 Things Never to Say to Your Adult Children, Do Not Fear - 33 Verses about Fear and Anxiety to Remind Us: God Is in Control, 10 Bible Reading Plans to Start This January, Top News Articles of 2020 Christians Should Know About, This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright © 2021, Crosswalk.com. I also learned to give less of my heart to people addicted to gossip and slander. Pray before you go to visit/chat with a friend, pray during your visit and pray afterward. If you answered yes to this, then and only then, will you learn to not only pray for someone who’s hurt you, but you’ll learn to shine for Jesus. King David’s honest prayer reflects our own cries, doesn’t it? Too many people view God as a kind of divine vending machine—put in a prayer, out comes a benefit. But the question is often raised, does God directly cause people to be sick? First, He uses pain and suffering to draw us to Himself so that we will cling to Him. I was raised in a conservative church where we were taught to seek God’s guidance. I want every relationship you invest time in sometimes God removes someone from your life so easily matters... Jesus as the bike launched into the Valley of profound pain makes people mute, deaf, and then them. To deal with people who have hurt you people who bring out the problems all over the globe than. 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